I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of seeing the upcoming TORQUE, which appears to be another clone of THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS (the first was last year's BIKER BOYZ). By now, everyone knows how the studios dump their worst movies into the unfortunate month of January, as if putting them alongside some of the year's better films is somehow going to help their cause. But could TORQUE be more than your average January crap-fest?

I'm basing this only on the trailer and the commercials I've seen (which is more than enough, thank you very much), but I think TORQUE may have the potential to be one of the worst studio-made movies of all time. However, it doesn't star J.Lo and Ben Affleck or any other Hollywood couples the media is just itching to trash, so it won't get even one-tenth the response no matter how good or bad it is. Seriously, though, have you seen the previews for this turd? Fast-moving vehicles, low-grade computer-generated explosions, and sluts galore with skirts being blown up by the wind of motorcycles flying past. It looks like being trapped inside the subconscious of a fourteen-year-old boy for 90-plus minutes, and it wasn't even directed by Michael Bay.

Posted January 03, 2004 | link